{OnE DaY}

Two short years ago tonight, my sweet little man, Macsen, went Home to be with Jesus.


It was busy day. I had a very head-strong little girl to run to and fro at school. Another lover littler girl to tote around as we did some much needed Christmas shopping. All of which, mind you- I was doing while being A HOUSE! I (partly) kid about the fact that that little boy had such an appetite. I distinctly remember one night shortly before "tonight", I had made Maizy's favorite, spaghetti with turkey meat sauce. It is typical on such a night, for her to go back for huge seconds, and the whole family really would go on and on about it! So you might imagine it shocking and humorous to watch me, (looking like a house, remember....I gained almost 60 pounds with him. I know- stop hyperventilating) go back for FOURTHS! We didn't want to know the sex of the baby, but that should have been a slam dunk clue,eh?! the boy, was all boy!


Well tonight, 2 years ago, I was on my kitchen floor, practically having to do yoga just to wrap the simplest of gifts. It was miserable, and I voiced it loud, and often. Less then 24 hours later, however, I was wishing/praying/pleading/begging to be that miserable again! After all, it was a far cry from what my heart was currently enduring and would endure in the days and weeks and months, and I see now, years after....


All I know to say tonight is this: having a child go before you......royally sucks! Hate it...with every fiber of who I am.


My comfort?


He is in PARADISE.


Luke 23:42-43 Then he said, : Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom".


Jesus answered him and said, "I tell you there truth, TODAY you will be with me in paradise".


He is with his CREATOR.


Colossians 2:5 For though I am absent in body, yet I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and the firmness of your faith in Christ.


I will be with him ONE DAY.


2 Timothy 4:18 The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To Him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.


It's just hard not wanting that ONE DAY to be today......


*Tonight, I post also, the first 7 songs on my playlist (below) that "sing" most to me in this sea of grieving my only boy. I hope you will take time to stop. Listen. Hear the words of each...they are so good, and better convey my heart and where I am, want to be, and will be One Day with all of this....... The first song is most definately the ministry "theme" song. I knew it the second I heard it, which was just 2 weeks after "tonight".



Tomorrow I actually held him. A dream really. I was like a 3 year old little girl. Suddenly I realized I have NOTHING in my control. It sealed the deal for my faith, really though. Ironic, yes! I ask that you PLEASE pray for me. I will not be posting for a bit as to just absorb all of this crap, called my life. I know I am not alone...I am being carried! Thank you.....

Macsen, I SO love you! My handsome, bruiser boy! I will see you soon!

Happy 2nd birthday!

{mInIsTrY oF tHe MoNtH}

My sweet Macsen went Home this month just 2 short years ago. So it is with tears in my eyes, that I reflect back on ALL that God has done since then. And to see all the beauty He has brought from my ashes.....

It is a real honor and pleasure for me to share with you, my friend, the Duet Diva. She is an amazingly gifted photographer, writer, friend, and disciple of Christ. She is full of life and the celebration of it! So you can imagine my excitement when she asked if she could put
The Greatest Blessing up as her "Ministry of the Month". Each month she highlights a ministry and shares it with her "blog world" as a way of getting the word out there.

The link to her announcement is here at, When a Duet Becomes a Trio Blog .
(See also the 'I Am a Faithful' button to direct left.)

In light of recent events, and in the anniversary month of my little mans exodus Home, this has blessed my socks off! Thank you Duet Diva!

{aTtItUdE cHaNgE}

The holidays are here.....YEA! (sarcasm) Wish my attitude were better about it, but it just isn't. Now if I had a one way ticket to Aspen maybe I could get a little "WOOP WOOP" out. But...that's just a daydream. (I'm entitled to daydream....check out that picture! sigh)

There is a lot contributing to this 'tude I have about the holidays....but mainly I am just weary from all of life's struggles. How on earth people get through without knowing Jesus, and feeling Him walk with them is totally beyond me! I would be a wreck. I likely would not even still be alive. My attitude stinks, but I can make the most of it. Thanksgiving and Christmas have always been my favorite times of year. There is something about the way everyone embraces life through the festivities that has just always sung to my soul. Why can't we be that way all the time? It's a love/hate thing now that I have about my Macsen going Home around Christmas though. I think, "how appropriate that he went there when we celebrate when Jesus came here", but then I think of how much I want him here to celebrate with his 2 big sissys and daddy and mommy that love and miss him so. But I know his celebration there, far surpasses any we could have here. (It's just me feelin' a bit sorry for myself is all. And that's okay sometimes I think. It's not like I lost my sucker! My son is not here to have and hold!)

I will make a choice, however, to press into the One that is clearly the only reason I have any strength to have done anything I have done up until this point. I will make the food, and have the things planned to make the holidays magical and lovely for my babies. I can do that....and I bet in the process I will have my heart changed.

Today is as good as I choose for it to be. Believing' in a heart change from the One that can do it. He can do anything!!!!!

{tHe ArTiClE}

A year ago this weekend ....

Sigh...I wish that because another year has already passed it means that things are easier somehow. It's not so much. Just another year closer to me being with my boy!

That's a good thing!

{PrAyInG GoD's wOrD}

Hello to all in blog world! I have been M.I.A as of late- huh?!! Not really, just very busy doing some fine tuning for ministry and getting my wits about me in my personal life. (I've pretty much given up on that ever happening though! HA! Just kidding...not really!)

Ok....so quick post. I need to get my hind end together and get the pics for the studio up here. I know, I know...I said it was gonna be this time, but alas, it's not. : ( I WILL do it shortly and WOW you all with how cute it is! If I do say so myself. : )

So, Living Proof Ministries , i.e. Beth Moore is quite possible one of the most awe inspiring ministries out there and has had direct impact on my life. I mentioned that I was in touch with them about getting the Praying God's Word Day by Day book to be donated in a large quantity, that I may place a copy in every box! (How cool would that be?!!!!) The ladies I dealt with were so gentle and thoughtful and certainly did all that they could do. Because of Beth's immense popularity, and I assume also the recent craze over this particular book, she was able to donate a few, but a great deal less then I was hoping for. Their ministry gets so many requests and they are unable to fill all of them, understandably. I would be lieing if I didn't say how very bummed I was about that. This book is really the meat of the box. God's word...sharper then any two edged sword, and totally God's love letter to each of these precious ladies. However, all is not lost! With my EIN number I will be able to go directly to the publisher and get a "ministry discount" on a large order. (Large being 75 plus books!) I figured the total to come to something like $700. A lot, yes, but well worth it! Now I have been praying about what to do. Just knee jerk reaction and buy them out right now?! The ministry account has that, and it could totally be covered. OR...step out in faith and believe that God is going to move in the heart/hearts of people to give for such a worthy cause! I am putting it out there to have others join me in praying for such favor. If the money were raised exclusively for the books, then the ministry account balance could continue to be used directly toward the supplies to make the boxes and the ever increasing gifts that go inside. Anyway you look at it, The Greatest Blessing will be blessed. If only half that amount were donated there is always the ministry account to fall back on and then the sting won't be as strong!

Prayer works, and I hope that my life and this ministry will be clear evidence to that! How thrilling it will be to offer, straight from the Father to these, possibly unsaved people.

On a lighter note, be on the look out for some updating on the blog. FINALLY! I know. I have been struggling to keep all the balls in the air in a smooth and seamless manner. (I am so not a juggler!) I am really new at ALL OF THIS! Bear with me, please.

I am always grateful to share the latest happenings with this ministry. It is indeed the way I can love my Macsen here on earth, and by giving my life away to others, I love my King! The One and only!My heart is so blessed and grateful for your prayers and encouraging words! You have no idea how much I am it edifies my spirit by those that take the time to email or leave a message. My home is not experiencing ultimate deliverance yet! It will, I believe...we serve a God that should very appropriately be called, The Extravagant One!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He loves us so much....it is the only truth that keeps me going! Press on dear ones....

{i MiSs YoU}

Little man....I hate being apart from you! There is no nice/Christiany/strong/courageous way to say it! I MISS YOU!

I will be with you one day though!

I love my Macsen! My only boy....mommy loves you so! You are a mighty soldier and a saint!

Today, as I do everyday....I remember you!

I miss you!

{tRaInInG cAmP}

So I would like to say that I have been away on a extended trip to Italy, living in 200 year old villa, getting in with the locals, but....I haven't! (Sounds like a fine time though, huh? sigh) In all actuality I have been running kids to and from school, dance class, making healthy meals, sifting through the excesses we have accumulated over the years and adjusting to and embracing all the humanness of myself and my husband and the great deal of stuff we are walking through. In all truth, it's been daunting. Hard. Unglamorous. It has been real life. The real life of a Christian.

Did things get harder or easier for you as you started your walk with Christ? Cause mine, after I got serious about it, got harder. Harder in that the battle with my flesh was never more real. I became acutely aware of the war that was waging against my very soul. I am so glad I chose the right team to play for. It still doesn't change the fact that training camp is rough.

Training camp has been wearing on me lately. My spirit has been restless and frankly impatient. I thought the "gimme-gimmie's" and the "I want it and I want it now's" were supposed to stop when we became adults. Not so. Not with me anyway. Thank goodness His mercies are new everyday, huh?!

God is good. He has been holding me a lot lately. Whispering encouragement to me knowing that training camp has me run ragged lately. The ministry has been slower as of late. Of course I like that because it would seem there are little to no babies that are having to be released into His arms. But I really believe God has given me a breather lately. He knows how much energy restoring a marriage is. He knows that I have a real spirit of excellence that wants to make the boxes all that they can be, and have the ministry run in a way that is as efficient and effective as possible. I have spent a lot of time pulling together my studio. It's nothing you might find on HGTV, but I am proud of it's creation from a low budget, it's warmth, order, and personality. It's somewhere I feel free and creative. That's what it's all about. Be looking for a soon coming post with pictures! Yeah!

Training camp is hard. But it is temporary. If you are struggling, feeling worn and tired - keep pressing in to the One that gives us all we need!

I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Phillipians 4:13