Thursday, September 3, 2009


Today I am feeling very led to extend encouragement to someone reading. I know what it is like to still have days where pain rears it's ugly head and your mind can go to a place of real despair and sorrow. I actually just had a couple of those days this last week. Satan is relentless. But he isn't as relentless as our God!!! Gosh...He loves you so much!

There has not ever been a day that goes by that I do not think of my baby boy. There has yet to be a day that I do not miss him. There are very often thoughts that take me to the what if's. But... remembering where he is brings my heart joy. Remembering who he is with brings my heart peace. To know that these little ones that we love so much are being cared for by the very One that knit them in our womb and is the ONLY possible One that could love them even more then we do- what a balm to my broken heart that is. I pray it is for you too.

I can't remember if I shared the story of the morning I heard God speak so clearly into my heart or not. But I will share it again.

One morning very soon after Macsen went Home, I was in my bedroom folding laundry. (Not my all time favorite domestic chore mind you. But I try to do it with a grateful heart.
\Bahumbug. LOL)
I was folding the clothes and my head and heart were not there, they were with Macsen...or desperately trying to be, anyhow. I began to cry uncontrollable recalling the in fathomable hurt and trauma I had just endured. There are no words. Stillbirth. I cried out to God,"I don't want to do this anymore! I just want to be with Macsen, God! I want to be doing what he is doing!" As clearly as I have ever "heard" God speak to me He said without hesitation, "He is worshipping me." My heart was pounding out of my chest as I received the words that I reflect on now more then any other I have ever heard. If that is what he is doing, I thought....I want to be doing that.

I want to encourage us ALL today to do what I am very sure our sweet little ones are doing!

They are worshipping. They are a part of a great cloud of witnesses (Hebrews 12:1) that are in paradise rooting for us to keep pressing on toward the goal!

Let's resolve today to worship! Turn up the music loud, sing with all of our hearts, and make satan shut his mouth as we praise the God that loves us so much that He actually died for us!
I can close my eyes and see my boy now!

Sing baby, sing!!!!!!! Until we meet again...I love you!


Trennia said...

Thank you for sharing this.I feel blessed to read your words, they are so encouraging.Sing Aloud All Babies in Heaven...can't wait to get there!

Holly said...

Thank you for sharing the time God spoke to you. It makes me think of my Carleigh singing and praising God and that is such a wonderful thing to think of.

Jennifer Ross said...

Amen!!! You said it so well, and I couldn't agree more with you. I remember the first comment that you left me on my blog. That comment has always meant so much to me, and made me start to cry. While I read it, I felt like God was speaking to me through it, saying that Isaiah is worshipping Him and that he is happy. Thank you for that comment so many months ago. God Bless.


Ruth said...

dearest friend, have been listening to your playlist all day, so good to hear from you, i have been meaning to write but haven't had the ambition, wish that we could just get together and there wouldn't even have to be words but please know that you and your support, prayers and blog are so very helpful and I am so grateful for you, thank-you. . .