Thursday, January 1, 2009


Megan truly doesn't know what to do with herself if she isn't being creative in some capacity. honestly, it is such good medicine to me. When I am stressed, anxious, lonely, whatever. I can let loose creatively, and I feel very in harmony with God. After all, He gave me that desire, and the ability. So I use it almost as a form of communication. Maybe not so much to Him. (I just flat out try to dialogue with Him throughout the day.) But more about communicating with myself. Figuring out what I am thinking and feeling, and where I see myself going. It's difficult to explain. Some of you may read that and think, a bit too weird for me. But really, I am weird! Crazy, curious, whimsical, wild, it what you want. I am what I am. And truth be told, I am flowering into the Megan I have suppressed for far too long. I can't put my finger on it exactly. Is it because I am seeing life with new eyes now that my son is in Heaven? Is it that I have a life of being a single mom ahead of me, and really, what do I have to lose? Be yourself!!!! For goodness sake, be yourself! Because, I really haven't been. The Megan I have been has been one that has been timid. Fearful. Beat down. Self conscience. Gun-shy. (I could go on and on. Sad, I know). But that Megan is gone. Gone forever. (Not sad.)

There is a great deal about my sweet little man, Macsen going Home that I will not fully grasp until I stand before the Lord Jesus. But when that little boy went UP to Heaven, something came DOWN as well. And it nestled itself in my heart. It looks different to me almost every day. Boldness. Uniqueness. Vision. Hope.Braveness. Please don't misunderstand me. NONE OF IT IS FROM ME. I am not ignorant enough to claim any of it as my own. God has given it, and I pray He doesn't take it away.

I am in need, dear friends. I am facing a life of raising 2 amazingly gorgeous, bright, funny, and adventurous girls, all alone. In doing that, I, a stay home mom since my first came into this world, is faced with providing for the three of us. I do not have a college education. My work experience is sporadic, and certainly not complimentary of this hurting economy. And the thought of putting my babies in daycare makes me want to just cry. (Daycare is something each of us choose for our own families. Sometimes it is unavoidable. For some it just fits. Nobody is right, or wrong in that choice. But my heart is broken, yet again, with the idea for my children.)

Along with this amazing ministry of memory boxes for bereaving families, that God has so graciously given me, I am looking to start my own business. I know what your thinking. are you crazy? And I think the answer is indeed,yes. Yes I am. But being here with them.....even if I have 5 minutes to play with them, is very important to me.

I want to mommy them.

I want to provide for us.

I want to use what God has given me.

So my plea is this: As God brings me to your mind, pray that His mighty hand of blessing, prosperity, and abundance be upon me and all these visions and dreams. There is so much injustice and unfairness that is going down right now in my life. Those things are for Him to tend to.

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.
~Romans 12:19

I am simply this:

A mommy who really loves these girls, and desires to be their most paramount influence. (As big of a responsibility as I know that is! )
A girl with alot of bottled up creativity and ideas. All of which are marketable and worthy of a stage of their own.
To KNOW God, and His husbanding in such a freakishly REAL, WHOLE, FULL, and ADDICTING way....that everything else, is gravy!
Thank you ladies. prayer matters. He hears it. He loves us more then we can even remotely fathom! (Don't ya love knowing that?!!!)
Thought I would share a few little things I "recreated" for the girls this year for their Christmas gifts. Seriously....thrift storing is an addiction of mine, so maybe this comes as little surprise. But I am so doing this every year! It was thrilling, fun, and so affordable! Thank you God. You are the giver of some pretty FANTABULOUS ideas! I love you!

Mia Brooke's doll bed. A whopping $7.00 when all was said and done!

Maizy Bly's doll bed. Again......$7.00.

(Both these girls have said they want to be "baby nurses" when they grow up. If that is what God leads them to, they have alot of experience to draw upon with families that may lose their little one! Now they have some little beds to get some practice in)

This was a real find....I only wish I had the before. There was a crazy, primary colored clown on the front. (Maizy is scared of clowns. ALL OF THEM) So, a little paint here, a little decoupage there, and there you go. If you can't read it, it says...



we currently have zero puppets, but, at 3 and 6, they are very able to IMAGINE with their stuffed animals, and make their own at craft time! (let's see a Wii do that, huh?)

Thank God for your gifts today.









He is worthy of all praise. Where would we be without Him.

Scary thought!