{eYeS oPeN}

I attended a service tonight at a church I do not normally attend. It was such a breathe of fresh air. Have you ever been in a service/moment/prayer/worship where the tears just flow. There isn't anything out of sight said or done, it is simply that the Holy Spirit is there and He is there in ALL of His greatness and love?! If you have, then you know already, without having been there, what this service was like for me tonight. Maybe it's just where I'm at right now in my walk with the Lord. He is so much more awesome, real, great, loving, forgiving, all-knowing, powerful, strong, in charge, mighty, royal, tender, merciful, glorious, endearing, empowering, majestic, magnificent, magnetic, intense, suffocating, irresistible, stilling, wise, lovely, and beautiful then I have ever known Him to be. And this is just the beginning of what it is that He is trying to show me. The amazing truth to all of that profound realization, is that I am positive that I would not have discovered all of these attributes, characteristics and truths about our God had I (are you ready for this) -not had my baby boy born asleep.

My eyes were opened because He chose for me to see Macsen's eyes closed....only to be seen open in paradise.


Humbling truth. But truth.

My son is in my heart. He is in the breeze. He is in the belly laughter that trails down the steps in my home from my daughters. He is in every embrace that my husband and I have.He is in every stroke of the brush that I take as I paint another box for a family facing this new challenging journey of infant loss. He is with his family every time we gather together. (Like in this picture which is one of many in this road of restoration for my husband and I and this family that Satan will not win. Hallelujah! Praise you Jesus! But notice too in the pic, where I keep my Macsen always....his picture around my neck. I am so proud of that little man! I HAVE to see him regularly!) He is in the tears that I shed every time I feel the Holy Spirit wooing me and those I love as we bend our knees in adoration to this King. This King that made it possible that good-bye is not good-bye, but instead, until we meet again....
The same King that my son is worshipping in this very moment. And in this one. And this. And this. And....

I would like to encourage anyone reading this to remember that any trial you have had to face- Any loss you are having to endure- Any struggle you are wrestling with- Any place you are fighting to leave......HE LOVES YOU. HE IS WITH YOU. HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU. NEVER!

Let's wake up people! wake up! He is there and He so desires for us to grab His capable hand...and fly!!!!!!!!!!

Trials are not punishment. They are training. Training to build our spiritual muscles and to build our most valued weapon: OUR FAITH!

p.s the song playing may or may not jive with this post...but it certainly jives with all of us wayward spirits that too often can stray from our God! My husband loves this song. He seems to really identify with it. I certainly do! His mercy is beyond amazing. I have 2 words for you:

AWE SOME!

lol