Wednesday, December 30, 2009

{FaCeBoOk ThOuGhTs}

So lately, I have been venturing deeply, into the Facebook world. My many names I recognize, with faces that have changed so much. Time has changed their eyes, bodies, and expressions. It made me think about mysef. How different do I look to all of them as well? What stands out the most? Because we are around ourselves all the the changes we see are evident and clear to us. But by the same token, because we are around ourselves all the time, I think we miss noticing alot that others spot immediately. I don't so much care about anyone's opinion of me. (Unless of course they wanna tell me how smokin' I'm lookin' especially being that I am a mommy of 3, or tell me how I haven't changed a bit! HA! Then, I'm open to the comments by all means! lol). Truthfully, knowing their opinion of how changed I am emotionally, mentally and spiritually has me far more gripped with interest then anything else. It's what I most care about. Because truely....if they knew me way back when, then it is likely that they would not AT ALL recognize me now! You know why? I hope it's because they see that I am a new creature:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has gone, the new has come.

~2 Corinthians 5:17

Megan is night and day from the one that most of those people knew. God has put me through some serious training courses in a very short period of time! Intense storms, brutal fires...not because He is mad at me, or making me pay for my immense wrong. On the contrary. Instead He has allowed me to go though them so that I would come out refined. As gold....shiny and bright and more brilliant then if everything had been perfect!

In the midst of any of these trials, believe me when I say that doubt whispers it's wicked voice. Often there are questions of faith and suspicion of this "everlasting love" this God has for me? All lies! As a parent, because we love our babies we give them discipline. We allow them to feel their own consequences after poor decisions have been made. We allow them to feel hurt. Pain. Suffering. Not because we like it. But rather because we love them that much!

God is no different. He authored parenting. He authored love.

So tonight, as possible Facebook "ghosts from my past" read this blog, and see that,
yes my life has had struggles.....and that

time has left it's marks on my face and body, and in my eyes...

my marriage is over.

my son was stillborn and lives in Heaven now.

my future is unsure.

and yet, YES I am a Christian.

One that knows that her Abba loves her and is seeking His best for her, inspite of all the dark that she has had to endure.

She has endured none of it alone. None. Never will she ever!

I pray that anyone that reads this blog sees a God that loves them even when it "looks" other wise. That you remember the great price that was paid for you on the cross of Calvary so that HE could share eternity with you. And until then, you could share in the victory and righteousness that He bought for you to wear here. Now.

So I try and remember to reflect on this as I "surf" Facebook. Every statement I make is a witness to those in my past, present, and future. I will still be real and express some of my trials and silly thoughts. That shows off my humaness. But two, I will share my faith and my hope. That shows off my King!


Rachel said...

Megan -
I missed your last post and did not realize that things had taken such a turn for the worse. I am so sorry! I wish I could do more, but distance prevents it and in reality at this point, I might be helpful, but nothing will take away the pain you're going through. I hope that Christmas had some bright spots as those beautiful girls of yours bring you much joy I'm sure! I will be lifting you up in prayer more now and hoping that 2010 brings you many blessings!

The Photography of Lindsay Alexander said...

LOVED this one Megs. Transparency is so important and you are a living example of how God calls us to live. I am "friend requesting" you as I type.

Lynnette Kraft said...

Ah Megan - I know what you mean. I'm a totally different person than I was in High School. I've found Jesus and he's changed me through and through! I've also met up with many old friends and acquaintances through facebook and I've loved that I can shock them with the NEW ME! I'm sure they're thinking - is this LYNNETTE???? The girl who loved to party hard with the rest of us? I love it! I love shining Jesus. :)

Thinking of you Megan and hoping that 2010 holds many blessings for you as well has more healing.


Trennia said...

you have an award on my blog waiting for you...(((HUGS)))
Praying for you my friend.