{hAnDs AnD fEeT}

There is so much that "sings" to each of us differently in the midst of heartache. In particular, I am thinking about those extremely tender first several days, and weeks after my son went to Heaven to live and I had a "new normal". When I was told Macsen was no longer with us several degrees of grief ensued. Initially, clearly, it is utter shock, pain that is indescribable and a slap in the face of mortality that words can not convey. But as the days wear on, and everyone around you is going on with life as usual, I felt very much like I was living in jell-o. Things had slowed very down, and the littlest of tasks was extremely overwhelming. Can anyone else relate?

This ministry of memory boxes, filled with items that I feel would have "sung" to me, is one that I take very seriously, and am sure that it is of God's ordaining. I am calling on all my sisters in the faith, my kindred spirits in our passions, and on all of us that have even more to be excited about when we get to Heaven. Glorying in our King, first and foremost, but also being reunited with our little ones, never to be separated from them again! HALLELUJAH!

As painful as it may be to recall those early days and weeks, I ask that you please do. Try to remember what you were given that ministered to you. Also remember what you weren't given that would have. Bear in mind the boxes are 10x10, and are about 6" deep. I daydream about them being so packed that you can barely close it. Sigh....
Currently in each box is as follows:

• Organic sage, parsley and rose bud tea to aid the body in suppressing milk production. Also comes with a bamboo steeper.
  

This for me personally, would have been amazing. I make milk.....alot of milk. My body knew this little man was big, so it was prepping up! Going through that was impossibly difficult. A constant reminder of what I did not have.

• A beeswax candle for lighting to remember. Highly aromatic and Lavender- lovely. It fills the box with peace and life.
  
• A journal to put down thoughts and prayers
  


• A flaxseed and lavender heart shaped pillow to hold
  

If you put this in the microwave for a minute or so it warms up nice to really give your empty arms something to do. I was given a polka-dot square pillow in the hospital, and honestly, felt insulted that there was anyone that could think that would be a suitable "replacement". Well, it wasn't, but I used it, and have it to this day. Big sissy Maizy just loves to sleep with it.

• A small white cherub figurine/ornament.

I seek high and low at Goodwill, Salvation Army, and surrounding thrift stores. They are, after all, my preferred place to buy ALL things. I am very picky, and it needs to be just right. I do a real thorough clean up job on all that I get. I have had much success and everyone then gets something quite unique. (Good stewardship....I desire to have it in abundance!)

• A booklet of the Heaven book by Randy Alcorn.

A small taste of what to expect from the book itself. Eternal Perspectives Ministry graciously donated them. Thank you EPM.

• A smaller box within the memory box. All in coordinating colors and theme. Meant to hold hair lockets, hospital ID bracelets etc

My son's above items were handed to me in a zip lock bag.

Need I say more.......

• A note from me, with all my contact information. On the back is references that may be helpful. Web sites, books, counselors, etc.
  

Constantly in "upgrade mode".....I am learning something new everyday. Mainly from you amazing women. Two...I am obsessed with bereavement of babies. Not in an unhealthy way, I really believe God has just burdened me for it for this very thing. All I know is, upon leaving the hospital, I came home and, first stared at my Christmas tree for like two weeks. (Yes...the DEAD one!) But after that I was obsessed with the Internet and learning of others that had walked this journey, and had not only lived to tell about it, but tell about it and be encompassed with JOY, inspite of the hurt!

Ladies, if you have ideas and thoughts to help these boxes be more of a blessing, please make a comment. Search your heart for what might hold the hand of those precious souls out there that have yet to face this storm. Together we can be His hands and feet.Your input is vital to this being all that it can be. My dream, is for these boxes to invoke PEACE, ELEGANCE, COMFORT and most of all HOPE and LOVE. A spa box, if you will, with the aroma of Heaven and the promise we have in the Cross! Thank you for your help! Where ever you are in this journey of grieving your little one, know that God has placed us all here...... for such a time as this! ~Esther 4:14b