Wednesday, December 17, 2008

{hAnDs AnD fEeT}

There is so much that "sings" to each of us differently in the midst of heartache. In particular, I am thinking about those extremely tender first several days, and weeks after my son went to Heaven to live and I had a "new normal". When I was told Macsen was no longer with us several degrees of grief ensued. Initially, clearly, it is utter shock, pain that is indescribable and a slap in the face of mortality that words can not convey. But as the days wear on, and everyone around you is going on with life as usual, I felt very much like I was living in jell-o. Things had slowed very down, and the littlest of tasks was extremely overwhelming. Can anyone else relate?

This ministry of memory boxes, filled with items that I feel would have "sung" to me, is one that I take very seriously, and am sure that it is of God's ordaining. I am calling on all my sisters in the faith, my kindred spirits in our passions, and on all of us that have even more to be excited about when we get to Heaven. Glorying in our King, first and foremost, but also being reunited with our little ones, never to be separated from them again! HALLELUJAH!

As painful as it may be to recall those early days and weeks, I ask that you please do. Try to remember what you were given that ministered to you. Also remember what you weren't given that would have. Bear in mind the boxes are 10x10, and are about 6" deep. I daydream about them being so packed that you can barely close it. Sigh....
Currently in each box is as follows:

  • Organic sage, parsley and rose bud tea to aid the body in suppressing milk production. Also comes with a bamboo steeper.

This for me personally, would have been amazing. I make milk.....alot of milk. My body knew this little man was big, so it was prepping up! Going through that was impossibly difficult. A constant reminder of what I did not have.

  • A beeswax candle for lighting to remember. Highly aromatic and Lavender- lovely. It fills the box with peace and life.
  • A journal to put down thoughts and prayers

  • A flaxseed and lavender heart shaped pillow to hold

If you put this in the microwave for a minute or so it warms up nice to really give your empty arms something to do. I was given a polka-dot square pillow in the hospital, and honestly, felt insulted that there was anyone that could think that would be a suitable "replacement". Well, it wasn't, but I used it, and have it to this day. Big sissy Maizy just loves to sleep with it.

  • A small white cherub figurine/ornament.

I seek high and low at Goodwill, Salvation Army, and surrounding thrift stores. They are, after all, my preferred place to buy ALL things. I am very picky, and it needs to be just right. I do a real thorough clean up job on all that I get. I have had much success and everyone then gets something quite unique. (Good stewardship....I desire to have it in abundance!)

  • A booklet of the Heaven book by Randy Alcorn.

A small taste of what to expect from the book itself. Eternal Perspectives Ministry graciously donated them. Thank you EPM.

  • A smaller box within the memory box. All in coordinating colors and theme. Meant to hold hair lockets, hospital ID bracelets etc

My son's above items were handed to me in a zip lock bag.

Need I say more.......

  • A note from me, with all my contact information. On the back is references that may be helpful. Web sites, books, counselors, etc.

Constantly in "upgrade mode".....I am learning something new everyday. Mainly from you amazing women. Two...I am obsessed with bereavement of babies. Not in an unhealthy way, I really believe God has just burdened me for it for this very thing. All I know is, upon leaving the hospital, I came home and, first stared at my Christmas tree for like two weeks. (Yes...the DEAD one!) But after that I was obsessed with the Internet and learning of others that had walked this journey, and had not only lived to tell about it, but tell about it and be encompassed with JOY, inspite of the hurt!

Ladies, if you have ideas and thoughts to help these boxes be more of a blessing, please make a comment. Search your heart for what might hold the hand of those precious souls out there that have yet to face this storm. Together we can be His hands and feet.Your input is vital to this being all that it can be. My dream, is for these boxes to invoke PEACE, ELEGANCE, COMFORT and most of all HOPE and LOVE. A spa box, if you will, with the aroma of Heaven and the promise we have in the Cross! Thank you for your help! Where ever you are in this journey of grieving your little one, know that God has placed us all here...... for such a time as this! ~Esther 4:14b


Danielle Holsapple said...

I truly believe that this project is ordained of God! How I wish I could have received one when I lost my son this past March.
A few things I appreciated:
A frame with a beautiful poem written on it...."We little knew that morning that
God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly
In death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
you did not go alone;
for part of us went with you,
the day God called you home.
You left us peaceful memories,
your love is still our guide;
and though we cannot see you,
you are always at our side.
Our family chain is broken
and nothing seems the same,
but as God calls us
one by one, the chain
will link again." I also was given a bracelet like this one... with a card sharing this... "Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there.
I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond's gilt on snow. I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die."
I will try to think of more things...


Mom 4 Life said...

I really love what you have so far in the box, great ideas. I just bought one of these for our tree this year and like the yearly memory that it will be. Blessings to you!

Rachel said...

I loved seeing anything with my daughter's name on it! Wondering if you can personalize something with their child's name (I don't know how this works, if you are given that info or not.) I bought some wooden Christmas stars at Michael's (don't know if you have them in WY) and a gold paint pen. I wrote Felicity's name on them. The stars were $1 each and the paint pen was 3.50 but will last a long time. If I can find more of the stars after Christmas (doubt I'll get there before that), I'd love to send you some along with a paint pen, so you can do this for other moms). I'll let you know if I find them.

kristina16marie said...

Thank you for the comment on my blog makeover from Danielle. She really does amazing work.

The food here in San Antonio is wonderful. We love to take our visitors to eat down on the Riverwalk. It's so beautiful and historic down there. Also, on my days off I like to take my kids to Brackenridge Park. One of my favorite places!

I'm so sorry about your son Macsen. I'm sure it must be hard around the anniversary of his arrival into heaven and also the holidays. My thoughts and prayers are with you. A very close family friend of mine has lost two precious babies before they were due, one was very late into the pregnancy. I will email her and ask her for ideas/suggestions for your beautiful boxes. May God bless the work you are doing and may He bring healing to you and others through these gifts.


zanesmommy said...

One thing that I wish that I would have been able to explain better is a cast of the hands and feet. Not the prints, but a 3D model. My friend had them done, I am sure that String of Pearls can help there. But the kit to do that would be wonderful. We also snagged the scissors that we cut Micah's hair with. Those are special to me, so maybe a pair of scissors that are not the hospitals;) For some of us, we are unaware that our baby is gone, or not going to survive. My friends was also insturmental in that she suggested two outfits, one we keep and one for burial. I know that the one we buried Micah in was one of my favorites of his older brothers, but a special outfit would be wonderful (even if it is the one for pictures that the family keeps).

Sara said...

We just lost our 5th child a son Samuel Mark 6 weeks ago. One thing that I loved was when people would send me Bible verses speaking of the comfort of our Heavenly Father when we call out to Him. Sometimes I literally can't say more than "Help Me Father" let alone read for myself. So for others to put those scriptures in my hands has been a huge help, a blessing. I think these boxes are such a great idea. I had a friend buy me something similar and I loved it. It also had a mesh bag with herbs in it that you could put in a warm bath with you...yummy smelly stuff. This is a great ministry, may it be blessed:) Praying for you right now as I know this journey is a long one, trusting in the Lord and His promises is what we can all cling to.

kristina16marie said...

Here are a few things my friend Jamie suggested:
This book:

This poem:

and something with the baby's birthstone on it.
maybe a christmas tree ornament.


Holly said...

A Place To Remember has to smaller baby books that aren't expensive at all. I think one is $5 and one is $7. It's nice to have a baby memory book specifically designed for babies who go before us. Regular baby books just don't cut it.