We did it! You did it, and I did it. We made it through all of Christmas. Some moments harder then others, some more tearful then the few before. Parts of the build up where the only thing that was felt was the void of the little person or persons we wanted to be joining in on all the fun. Even if their only contribution would have been cooing and needing a diaper change. : ) It was none the less missed.
To be honest, Christmas, and the time leading up to it felt, for the most part, very orchestrated and contrived. But I was in no way about to let ME take over and ruin this holiday for my ladies, though. That is precisely what Satan wants. This is NOT about ME. Christmas is such a spring board of faith in the hearts of little people. I recall being small and feeling just how very much God's love was for me at Christmas. I wanted to give that to my babies. I knew how much they were watching me, watching how I would react because of Macsen not being here. They are so much smarter and attentive then we give them credit for! So we did alot of talking about the celebration for Jesus' birth that was taking place in Heaven. The one their baby brother was a part of. It was healing, exciting and peaceful.
I had to share my girls with my husband, whom which, most of you may not know I am separated from. He would not tell you that his leaving us was due to Macsen's exodus Home, but it is .....in more ways then we will ever wrap our minds around, I am sure! So...faced with a NEW Christmas in more ways then just being with out my baby boy, GOD SHOWED UP ! The girls and I shared a Christmas Eve full of lots of food, goofing off, and talking about the Lord's precious birth. Then, I was up until midnight getting food prepped, toys set up, and toys "ready". ( I did the majority of my shopping this year at the local Goodwill and Salvation Army. So fun! You never know what your going to get, but it all needs some love and a touch of creativity! And it isn't the same sting on the pocket book, eh?! ) * Heads up: in coming posts all the neat blessings for Christmas God brought me to for my adorable girls! It really kind of puts you in a place of His guidance as to what you'll get for those you love. The thrill of the hunt with a spiritual twist! RUSH!
God is good! I so want to hear about how God comforted you as you faced this holiday. The God that parted the Red Sea, rose the dead and healed the sick is the same God today. He loves you, and knows your pain, void, and need like no one person ever could.
Trust Him. Be encouraged. He is caring for those we miss and feel such heartache for. Bask in that, and use the comforting He is giving to you to help others that don't know....HIM!
To be honest, Christmas, and the time leading up to it felt, for the most part, very orchestrated and contrived. But I was in no way about to let ME take over and ruin this holiday for my ladies, though. That is precisely what Satan wants. This is NOT about ME. Christmas is such a spring board of faith in the hearts of little people. I recall being small and feeling just how very much God's love was for me at Christmas. I wanted to give that to my babies. I knew how much they were watching me, watching how I would react because of Macsen not being here. They are so much smarter and attentive then we give them credit for! So we did alot of talking about the celebration for Jesus' birth that was taking place in Heaven. The one their baby brother was a part of. It was healing, exciting and peaceful.
I had to share my girls with my husband, whom which, most of you may not know I am separated from. He would not tell you that his leaving us was due to Macsen's exodus Home, but it is .....in more ways then we will ever wrap our minds around, I am sure! So...faced with a NEW Christmas in more ways then just being with out my baby boy, GOD SHOWED UP ! The girls and I shared a Christmas Eve full of lots of food, goofing off, and talking about the Lord's precious birth. Then, I was up until midnight getting food prepped, toys set up, and toys "ready". ( I did the majority of my shopping this year at the local Goodwill and Salvation Army. So fun! You never know what your going to get, but it all needs some love and a touch of creativity! And it isn't the same sting on the pocket book, eh?! ) * Heads up: in coming posts all the neat blessings for Christmas God brought me to for my adorable girls! It really kind of puts you in a place of His guidance as to what you'll get for those you love. The thrill of the hunt with a spiritual twist! RUSH!
God is good! I so want to hear about how God comforted you as you faced this holiday. The God that parted the Red Sea, rose the dead and healed the sick is the same God today. He loves you, and knows your pain, void, and need like no one person ever could.
Trust Him. Be encouraged. He is caring for those we miss and feel such heartache for. Bask in that, and use the comforting He is giving to you to help others that don't know....HIM!
{Peace be with you!}
4 comments:
Oh, Megan! I too had a good/hard day. It wasn't hard to do stuff for my boys (we usually do a treasure hunt for some of their gifts, hiding clues for them to find), but in the morning before the Christmas meal, I did just have to cry and cry and cry! My husband was there for me and when I read that you're separated from your hubby, I just felt so badly for you. (I've been through the difficulty of divorce as my first husband - father of my oldest- left me while I was pregnant with him). I will pray for restoration in your marriage - could you share your husband's name? I can't even imagine the anguish of losing your child and your husband all at the same time. HOw are you doing financially? I pray God's people will richly care for you as you and your girls are the "widows and orphans" the Bible speaks of. Please email me if you have specific prayer requests you don't want to post about. I hope you can find a Christian support group as that was a huge lifeline for me when I was going through my divorce.
Lord, please bless Megan, Mia, and Maizy. Help them ALWAYS feel your presence. Please provide for their needs, Jesus and please Lord, restore Megan's marriage. Help her husband see TRUTH in this time of heartache. Send your angels to surround him and protect him from Satan. Bring him to repentance in his brokenness and allow Megan to be filled with forgiveness through you, Jesus. Give her strength, patience, comfort, joy, and peace! AMEN.
Our God is faithful! Thank you, Megan...for sharing your Christmas. Christmas has sometimes been a struggle for me...in the first years after the loss of our babies...and more recently after the loss of my mother to cancer two years ago. I want to stay focused on the reason for the celebration...the amazing gift, that Jesus came for us. But the demands of our large extended family get-togethers and the running around and busyness often steal the joy...or at least try to. And the missing of my mother is so strong that I can barely breathe. I love the joy on my children's faces...I love the warmth of my family gathered together around the tree. I love the promise of eternity with my Savior and those I love...because He came. But I ache for them and miss their presence. He is there in the quiet moments when I turn my face from the noise. He is there...just like He was there in the still small voice. And just like He was there more than two thousand years ago...on that silent, holy night. That night, when they didn't have room for Him at the inn...and, sadly, many don't make room for Him today.
Praying His continued blessings and provision for you and your precious girls...
In His Grace,
Kelly
Megan,
You're a wonderful mommy! I can tell you love your girlies very much. You're so right, things work so much better when we take the focus off of ourselves and serve others. But I want you to know that I am sorry for what/who you missed this Christmas.
I hope that your New Year is blessed and that you will learn more and more from our Lord as you continue to lean on him.
Love,
Lynnette
O.K....you are talking to someone who is completely lacking in bloggy-techno-savvy (yes, I believe I made up that term!) There is probably another way to do put the button up...but this is how I would do it. Just right-click on the button pic and save it to your pictures. Then, when you go to add pictures on your sidebar (add a gadget...add picture), just add the graphic from your pictures and in the spot where it says "link picture to a url" (or something like that) then type in this address: www.sufficientgrace.net. That is the link to our website, but not our blog. If you wish to link it to my blog, instead, you could enter the blog address in the url link window. O.k....now everyone knows that I have no idea what I'm doing!
Thanks for your willingness to share about our ministry. I will be in touch soon. Sorry I haven't called yet...it's so crazy here. As, I'm sure it is everywhere...but it should settle down for a little bit...Lord willing, of course.
Hang in there, girl...
Kelly
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