{PoNdErInG pArAdIsE}

You are the very air I breathe. The one that makes my heart beat. The very reason I am here, and the reason I go on. Your sweet word is what I cling to. It is the truth that will keep me from focusing on that which is of less concern....Megan. There is more to life then "happy." There is something called "joy" that you supply in a supernatural way, when nothing around me can describe it. You are unexplainable, unpredictable, unimaginable and unarguably the reason that I press on.

I often wonder what it will feel like to be with you, in a place of perfection that will have no end. To know, and to be fully known. To experience your presence and be secure in the knowledge that this new place will be my Home for all of eternity. I will never hurt or be lied to again. I will be safe and loved and happy beyond any "happy" this world tries to fabricate. This paradise created for me, a place to celebrate Him, our King. No more mirages. No more untruths. No more hurt and pain. No more trials. No more waiting and longing to be with Macsen. I mean really, as if Heaven needed any perks?!

• Jesus Christ, before our very eyes
• no more Satan, HALLELUJAH!
• no more questions unanswered
• no concern of this "perfection" ending
• my sweet baby......there for me to hold, love, kiss, know, and forever be with! Never to miss again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Several exclamation points I know, but I want you to really feel my hysteria over that thought!)

God is so good. Were He not to have sent His only son, to take on our hideous sin, this place of paradise would not be ours to press on towards. To be so sure of when we're faced with loss.

Thank you Holy Father. That you loved us so much, that that which was so precious to you, (and some of us know all to well what that may have been like) that you sent your only Son, that we might be given eternity with you. Pour out your Spirit on us! That we would meditate on these daydreams often Father. That we would often ponder paradise! None of our pain is in vain. You are our Redeemer, and we choose to believe! Thank you that it will be rewarded! To you the glory!